Conquer Your Fears

You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.                             ~ Author Unknown

What are your dreams? Desires? Hopes? Wants? We all have them. How many of us do something about them? How many of us put ourselves out there and take a chance or a step forward toward those goals? I bet, not many. I sure don’t. It is safer that way. Sometimes doing nothing is comfortable and safe. It feels like slipping into a comfortable pair of sweat pants. Here, we are in our comfort zone. It is relaxing and there are no fears.

What would it feel like to jump out of your comfort zone? A little stressful maybe. Your heart would race. You might not know what to say, what to do, or even how to get started. All the fears and doubts you have would come to the surface. Those fears and doubts will try to hold you back and put you right back in your comfort zone. A person has to be stronger than their own comfort zone.

I can’t remember the last time I put myself out of my comfort zone. Well, I have very recently, but I am talking about before that! It is a concept many of us are not comfortable with. We are not doing ourselves a favor by sitting idle on our hands. We think we are, but we are not. I have two things that I want to do with my life before it is over. I have wanted it for some time, but being in my comfort zone is easier. I realized that not doing anything about it is not doing me any good.

One, I want to help the elderly and disabled by starting my own caregiver business. I have a huge need in me to help others. I think I can do a better job of it than if I work for another agency. I have done that and most agencies don’t know what they are doing.  It is a lot of work starting your own business. I do understand that. However, when I came across this idea, it felt like God was speaking to me personally. It felt like my calling. I sat on the idea for a while. Scared. Not really knowing what to do or how to get started. Leaving it alone was safer. Until now. I am taking the beginning steps of making this dream a reality.

Two, I want to have one piece of writing published before I die. It doesn’t matter if it is a small paragraph in Readers Digest, my Lions Club magazine, a short story, or a novel. It doesn’t matter if has a lot of publicity attached to it or not. It does not matter if I receive any kind of money in return for it or not. I just want something of mine published before I die. I have known this dream for a while and once again, it is safer to sit on the idea than to work towards it. I knew it was time to do something about it when I saw an add in my local newspaper about a writing class being offered. I actually was going to pass it up, but my husband encouraged me to sign up for it. Instead of the other way around, he is the one who actually gave me a talking to and told me to go for it!

So here I am, working towards the two things I want to accomplish before my time on this Earth is done. Instead of others passing me by on the way to their dreams, I am now walking right along with them. Conquer your fears. Take a chance. You never know what will happen if you don’t.

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Shifting Our Focus

“Life seems sometimes like nothing more than a series of losses, from beginning to end. That’s the given. How you respond to those losses, what you make of what’s left, that’s the part you have to make up as you go.”

– Katherine Weber

I came across this quote today and it hit me like a slap in the face. I wasn’t searching for quotes; it was just there like it was meant for me to read. I really started to think about my life, my thoughts, and my attitude towards certain things. For the last number of years (too many years to put an exact number on), I have said to myself, “my life is a series of losses.” It is all I have been focusing on. My losses. My life has been one loss after another. Whether it is a loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of money, or a number of other things; my life is a series of losses. However, I am not the only one who is alive on this planet. So many others feel the same way as I do. So many others have it worse off than I do. Our eyes are sometimes open only to our pain and closed to the pain other people go through. We get lost in our own pain all too often. We forget what matters. We give up. Once we start shifting our focus to others and helping others, our own lives improve as well. Not only do we make someone else feel better, but we feel better for helping someone else. I will slip and lose my focus from time to time, but before my life ends, I am hoping to help other people see things in a more positive light. After all, isn’t that what we were put on this planet for?

The Years Are Slipping By

I see the hours go by faster and faster. The days and weeks fly by and there is nothing I can do about it. I turn the calendar months over so fast that it makes me wonder where the month has gone. Another year approaching the end. Didn’t I just buy a 2014 calendar? Didn’t I just celebrate the new year? Didn’t I just say 2014 is going to be the year? The year to do what? I don’t remember. Another year is almost gone and I don’t remember what I wanted to accomplish.

In a few months, I will be another year older. In a few years I will be 40. I see it up a head. It is there, waiting for me. I still feel like I am in my 20’s. I remember my hopes and wants when I was younger. What happened to them? Did I brush them aside? Did they disappear? Did I give up on them? I never truly knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise. Not in high school, not in college, and sadly, not now. I never was one of those lucky people who know right away what career path and life path to take.  In reality, how many of us do?

As another year goes by, calendar year and biological year, I see my motivation slipping by. I am slipping down a slippery slope that I can’t get myself out of. It is like drowning in quick sand, only mentally. I am being swept out to sea and not able to swim back. Some days I make a little progress towards shore, some days I tread water, and other days I am being swept back out to sea. I sometimes wish I could start over. Maybe go back to my niece or nephew’s age and start all over. Other times, I wonder what drugs I am on to be thinking that!

All in all, I am doing the best I can, at the moment, with the life I have been dealt. My son should be approaching 13 years old. I can’t even imagine a teenager in the house. My daughter would be approaching 11 years old. She’d be giving me the hard time I gave my parents. I can’t even imagine myself a parent to a 13 and 11 year old. Did my dreams die with them? They must have. That is where they went. They are gone. I see them out there in the distance, but they are unreachable. Maybe, just maybe, one year when I say, “This will be the year….”, it actually will be.

Does God Ever Need A Beer?

He watches over us from above. He sees everything we do and knows what is in our hearts and minds. He notices when we do good and knows when we do bad. No, I am not talking about Santa Claus. I am referring to God. He is all around us whether we notice or not. He built this world for us hoping we cherish it and do something positive in it and for it. What happens when we don’t?

Most of us have good intentions and we mean well. We live our lives to do good for our family, our friends, and our community. There are more decent people doing good than the other way around. Day in and day out, we try our best and don’t mean any harm. “Our best” is different for every person. Our talents, motivations, intentions, needs, and wants are all different from each other’s. We are put on this Earth to grow, learn, help each other out, and do good. What happens when we don’t?

I often wonder how God, All Knowing and All Mighty, deals with things and handles things when we as humans, mess up. When He points us in a direction and we go the other way, does He shake His head? When we miss the obvious, does He put His hands over His eyes? When we do something negative, does He take a deep breath to calm Himself? Having a whole world to watch over, does God ever need a beer?

I sometimes picture God in His throne with a beer relaxing “at the end of a day.” I wonder how He could not need a beer when us as humans are constantly needing help, redirection, advice, and improvement in our lives. In my opinion, He must be so great and so strong in order to deal with billions of people. How great is it that He loves us no matter what we do or what we say. Even with that said, I still wonder if God ever needs a beer?

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

Each experience we go through changes us. Each situation, good & bad, shapes us. Little by little we learn something from life’s challenges. We don’t learn it all at once. It takes time. It can take months, years, or a lifetime. It takes many lessons through life to get to the point of patience, acceptance, tolerance, listening, and asking for help. We don’t even have to go through the experience ourselves; Just watching someone else go through it, we should recognize a light bulb go on in our minds. We should be able to learn from any situation whether we ourselves go through it or not. It really doesn’t have to be a hard lesson to learn; it can be minor. If we keep our eyes open, we will learn from any good or bad situation, or we will be presented with it again.

Acceptance is a big lesson for me personally. I will never be a millionaire, live in Hawaii, have a huge house, or that perfect job. I compare myself to my family, friends, and to people I have never met. It’s hard not to. I feel I should be at a certain point in my life, or have accomplished this and that, and I am not and I don’t. I could have worked harder. I could have pushed myself more. I could have accomplished more. I also know there are others out there wishing they were in my shoes.

With the help of God, family, and friends, we fight our own battles. We have our responsibilities, problems, accomplishments, and failures. We should not compare ourselves to others. We are all different. We all learn at our own pace. We go through different challenges and sometimes the same challenges, which affect us all differently. We are all built and made different from each other. Accept it. Tolerate it. Have patience. Don’t compare yourself to others. It will get you nowhere.

Does It Really Matter?

Life. There is so much to do and so much to say. So much to concentrate on and so much to forget. Some things to worry about and most things to let go.  Certain things to accomplish and some to throw out the window.

Does it really matter if we drive 85mph in a 70mph zone just to get somewhere two minutes faster? Does it really matter if I write this blog all in first person or part in first person, second person, and third person? Does it really matter if I follow a diet so to speak or eat and drink what I want in moderation? Does it really matter if I am 110 pounds or 160 pounds? Does it really matter what others think or what I think? Does it really matter if I stay up till 10pm or 2am? Does it really matter if I am not working, working part time or working full time? Does it really matter that I have two college degree’s and not using either of them? Am I doing what I love? Am I doing what I want to do? Am I doing what makes me happy? Well, there you go!

Figure out what is important to you, follow it, and do it.  Something I have learned over and over again is we are here one day and gone the next. It first started with my son being in my belly one day & gone seconds later. Then my oldest brother was here one day & gone minutes later. My daughter was here one day and gone hours later. My second oldest brother was here one day and gone the next. So on and so on and so on……

The older I get, the less I worry. The older I get, the more I realize what is important and what is not important. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, the older I get, the more I do what makes me happy.

Don’t let life get in the way of what you want to do.

 

 

 

It’s Been A While…..

Life got in the way as it sometimes does or maybe it was just me that got in the way. Either way, I am back to my writing. I never, ever gave up my writing or my goal to get published, but I needed a breather. I needed to concentrate on other area’s of my life. I have a new, part time job that I love and it has taken up my energy. However, I am on my way back to a routine of writing. I apologize to everyone to not being around, not writing, and not reading the blogs, but I will be around on a regular basis as of now!