I am starting a new adventure in my life and what may not seem like a big deal to some, it is a big deal to me. I am volunteering with a local, three person hospice house. After working with hospice patients indirectly in the past, I have never worked directly with them. Now is my chance to do something I have always wanted to do. I won’t only be part of a team helping others, but they will help me too. I am looking forward to starting this new phase in my life. I feel like my whole life has built me up to this point to be able to do this mentally and physically. What I have gone through and dealt with in my past, has prepared me for this new phase in my life. It is a challenge I am excited about starting. It something I feel I was called to do. There is not much in my life where I feel I am called on by God to do, but this is one thing I feel very strongly about doing.
I was asked today, in not so many words, how I deal with the losses in my life. In my almost thirteen years of marriage, I have not only lost four babies, but two brothers, grandparents, and my in-laws in the same year. What marriage can survive that is beyond me. Many “someone’s” are watching over my husband and I. The answer that came out of my mouth was one, talking. Talking to someone I trust is a must. If I don’t let it out, I would scream. Two, writing. Writing is another way to let it out when I don’t feel like talking. Three, volunteering and helping others. I realized in my 36 years of life that helping others is an important way to give back and not only make yourself feel better, but help the other person feel better. It is a win-win situation. The last answer that came out of my mouth has to do with my parents and grandparents. I know many people feel this way about their parents and that is great! However, three of the people that I look up to in my life are my mom, dad, and my maternal grandma. My grandma passed away in April 2003, but she is someone that to this day, I look up to. Those are the three top people in my life that I see strength in and where my strength comes from. They are very, very strong people and I can’t express that enough. If it was not for them, I would have given up on life a long, long time ago.
I hope everyone out there has someone or someone’s they look up to for strength. I hope there is someone out there keeps you going and keeps you from giving up. I have overcame a lot in my life that I didn’t think I could. I have moved on and moved past a lot of things that would have done anyone else in. It is time for me to give credit to where credit is due, which is God, my parents and my grandparents. It is also time for me to give back to the community. I have found strength that I never thought I had and it is time to use it!