Does It Really Matter?

Life. There is so much to do and so much to say. So much to concentrate on and so much to forget. Some things to worry about and most things to let go.  Certain things to accomplish and some to throw out the window.

Does it really matter if we drive 85mph in a 70mph zone just to get somewhere two minutes faster? Does it really matter if I write this blog all in first person or part in first person, second person, and third person? Does it really matter if I follow a diet so to speak or eat and drink what I want in moderation? Does it really matter if I am 110 pounds or 160 pounds? Does it really matter what others think or what I think? Does it really matter if I stay up till 10pm or 2am? Does it really matter if I am not working, working part time or working full time? Does it really matter that I have two college degree’s and not using either of them? Am I doing what I love? Am I doing what I want to do? Am I doing what makes me happy? Well, there you go!

Figure out what is important to you, follow it, and do it.  Something I have learned over and over again is we are here one day and gone the next. It first started with my son being in my belly one day & gone seconds later. Then my oldest brother was here one day & gone minutes later. My daughter was here one day and gone hours later. My second oldest brother was here one day and gone the next. So on and so on and so on……

The older I get, the less I worry. The older I get, the more I realize what is important and what is not important. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, the older I get, the more I do what makes me happy.

Don’t let life get in the way of what you want to do.

 

 

 

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Life Is About Balance

 

When one walks on a tight rope, balance is the key. When someone stands on one foot, balance is the key. Life is all about balance. Too much of anything is not good for you. Too much of anything will over whelm a person. Too many sweets gets a person sick. Too much work makes a person dull and stressed. Too much play can have a negative effect on a person. Even too much water is not good for you! Your life and even your day is about balance.

Creating balance in one’s life can be difficult. It’s easy to get wrapped up in life and forget why we are all here in the first place. It’s easy to get so down on life where all you think about is yourself. It’s also easy to be so high on life where all you think about is yourself. It all comes down to balance.

Think of the man or woman who works 60 plus hours a week. They may or may not enjoy the work, but either way it’s stressful. There is no balance.

What about the man or woman who stays home with the kids. There is no break. It’s all about the kids, tending to their needs, driving them here and there. Yes the parent loves their kids and wouldn’t trade it for anything, but where is the balance? How do they relax? It’s all about balance.

Think of the anorexic who does not eat, but exercises too much. Or the opposite habits in some people. There is no balance to this kind of life either.

Think of the depressed person who can’t leave the house on some days or get anything done on some days. There is a soul in that person waiting to be set free and soar. Too much depression in one’s life, and quite frankly, the opposite of that, is not good. It all comes down to balance.

There is time to hold on and a time to let go. There is a time for work and a time for play. There is a time for family & friends and a time for yourself. There is a time to splurge and a time to hold back. There will be down times in a person’s life and high moments in a person’s life. It is so simply really, but difficult at the same time to keep balance in one’s life. The key to life, if you can find it, is balance.

My Own Little World

 

There is a place, a couple places actually, where I go to forget about all of my worries and all of the world’s troubles. As soon as I am there, my troubles melt away. I don’t think about what worries my mind nor do I think about what is going on in the news. For a short time, the outside world no longer matters. It’s almost like I am in my own little world with the doors shut to the outside. Nothing else can make it’s way inside and until I open those doors to leave, nothing can make it’s way outside. While I am there, I am in a state of bliss, happiness, and peace. There are unseen, loving arms around this place letting me know everything will be okay.

Being the type of person that worries all the time and contemplates every possible outcome, a place or two like this, is what I need. It releases the tension inside me. For a while, I am able to let go of all the stress on my shoulders or all the stress that I think is on my shoulders! I would describe these places like being in Heaven, but since I have not been to Heaven, yet, I will say it is like being on vacation. There are no worries, troubles, or stress. Only happiness, peace, love, and a state of relaxation exists. When I leave this place, there is a longing to go back. It is almost like a piece of my life is missing until I return. Once back at this place, life makes sense again. I feel like I have all the answers and nothing can pull me down.

Everyone needs a place or two like this. When the outside world consumes us, we all need a place to kick our feet up and let go. If I am not able to physically be at these places, I go there in my mind, if only for a little while. I urge us all to find a place or two that makes us feel that nothing else matters. It could be when you are with your loved one(s) you feel this way, at a beautiful park, looking at a sunrise or sunset, a place you volunteer at, or maybe it is going for a walk or a drive. Whatever & wherever it is, go there often. If you don’t have a place like this, I urge you to find one. Doing so will only help you, not hurt you.

 

 

It’s Not Too Late

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Credit goes to quotesinn.com

I am at a point in my life where I am closer to 40 years old than 30 years old. I know what most people are thinking; another blog post about someone feeling sorry for themselves about growing older. Nope, not going there, so give me a moment and keep reading. In fact, I would never want to be back in my teenage years or 20’s. Being a teenager and young adult is tough these days and I wouldn’t want to go back there.

I remember when I turned 30 and how hard of a time I had emotionally. I just couldn’t believe I was 30! Where does the time go? Now I am closer to 40 than 30. Six years later at the age of 36 and once again I am asking, “Where does the time go?” I am also a point in my life where I am asking, “What have I done with my life? What have I accomplished? What could I have done differently? Why didn’t I have the motivation, drive, or determination to accomplish more?” I do believe many people have times in their life where they ask these questions to themselves.

I am grateful I am asking myself these questions now when I am healthy and hopefully have many years ahead of me instead of the alternative. I can get that determination and motivation to do what I truly want to do. Instead of asking, “Why didn’t I do this?”, or “Why didn’t I try harder at this?”, I can ask ask myself, “What am I going to do now to go after what I want?”

I know I am not the only one asking myself these questions. We all do. Know matter how old we get, there is still time to accomplish what we want to do. There is still time to change our thinking. There is still time to help others. There is still time to live our life the way we want to. Whatever is holding us back, I encourage everyone to work through it, so we can have the life we dreamed of.

Six Ways To A More Meaningful Life

“It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty.” – Jonathan Safran Foer

My walk Sept 11 2013 015Do you ever wake up to start your day and feel like pulling the covers back over your head so you can go back to sleep? This is common from time to time, but feeling this way a lot is not an easy life to live. The feeling of emptiness that humans have is not an easy pattern to break, but it is possible. All humans need a sense of purpose or meaning to get out of bed each day. Some have more trouble with this. Others it comes easy. Whether you are one to climb out of bed most day with a purpose or not so much, read on to find ways to stop the empty feeling inside and bring more meaning to your life.

1. Change things up in your daily or weekly routine. Some routines are hard to change. For example, taking care of your kids/family, work, school, and appointments are just a few examples of everyday tasks that are difficult to change. However, volunteering, joining a club, and finding a new hobby, are a few examples of doing something different. Meeting new people and doing new things introduces a new purpose in your life.

2. Take control of your life. Are you doing things that you want to do or are you doing things because your family or society says you have to? Are you studying what you want in college or are you studying what your parents want you to or what your friends are studying? Do you have the job you want or do you have a job because society says you should have this job? Are you doing things that you truly want to do or are you doing things that just looks good to other people? Take a break, a breath, and determine what it is you want to do with your life, not what anyone else wants you to do.

3. Stay away from the habits that make you feel empty. This seems obvious, but it is easy to hang around with the wrong crowd, drink & eat too much, watch too much TV, play too many video games, etc… These harmful habits play a role in why people have these empty feelings. Have a healthy lifestyle and that will in turn, make you feel better.

4. Spend time with people who truly support you and want what is best for you. This may be family, friends, church friends, or co-workers. Stay away from people who do not have your best interest at heart.

5. Consider adopting a pet. If you have the time and money, pets are a wonderful way to bring a smile to your day. They know how to bring purpose to your everyday life.

6. Seek help. Whether it is a trusted family member, friend or a therapist, find someone to talk to. Talking to someone you trust and keeping a journal, can help you feel better and find purpose and meaning to your everyday life.

These few steps can help build your life back to a feeling of fullness. Adding these positive changes to you life, plus some of your own, will contribute a well balanced life.

Look and Learn From Each Other

There comes a time in everyone’s life when it really hits them that not only is there someone else out there going through something worse, but there is someone else going through a situation in which no one wants to trade places with, regardless of how much or little drama is involved. It opens up their eyes and helps them realize everyone has something to deal with. Everybody has their own set of issues. Some problems are more serious than others, but it does not mean they are any more or less important. Everyone has a cross to bear. There are people who are struggling to survive. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. There are other people just going through the emotions of life and not really experiencing life to the fullest. They are either too busy, going through life too fast, or not paying attention. There are few people who live life to the fullest no matter what is thrown at them. Every single person has high points and low points of their life. It is not necessarily the actual high points or low points of a person’s life that matters, but how a person deals with those high and low points. Do they grow and learn from those high and low points or do they act out and ignore the potential lessons that come from those things in life? Every single person has done both. This is how people grow and learn.

Picture the homeless man living in a box on a dangerous corner downtown. He lost his job and not able to pay his bills. He was forced out of his home. Now people pass by him, judge him, and look at him with contempt.

Picture the loving wife and mother addicted to alcohol. She hides bottles in the attics, closets, and under a loose floorboard. She easily explains away lost money. She tries to quit over and over, but keeps relapsing.

Picture a troubled teenager. She comes from a loving, close family. Somehow she starts hanging around with the wrong crowd. She doesn’t do her homework and discovered drugs and alcohol. She is out of control, angry, and unhappy. Her parents are doing everything in their power to try and help her, but she refuses any kind of help.

Picture a healthy, elderly man living alone. His wife passed away recently. He is lonely. He pushed his friends away. He doesn’t want help from his kids. He is depressed and tired all the time. He has little interest in anything. He doesn’t want to talk and doesn’t want any outside help.

Are any one of these situations more important than the other? No. How many people would want to be in any of these situations? No one. Life happens. There are some situations in which people have no choice in how certain matters turn out. People have control over some things, but then there are other things in which they don’t. People need to judge less and leave the judging to God. People need to realize they are not the only ones hurting in this world. We all are. We are all dealing with something. Learn from each other. Put yourself in another person’s shoes and picture what they are going through. Look at what they are dealing with. Everyone is in this world to help each other. What matters to everyone in the four scenarios described above is that they are not alone. They want to know someone cares for them. They want to know that when they are ready to change their life and turn it around for the better, not only is not too late, but at least one person will be there to help them. Look around. What can we as a society and individuals do to help someone today? When people help others, they not only help improve someones life, but they improve their own as well.

Spring Cleaning My Life

SpringCleaningAfter many long months of the cold weather as well as blowing and falling snow, spring is finally here. There are still times in which the weather does not feel like it is spring, but according to the calendar, spring is here. It was a very long winter for most of us, especially me. I am not a fan of winter. I don’t even like to leave my house unless I have to when it is so cold. It is very difficult for me to do certain things in the winter time. I have to push myself to do things and I don’t like that trait about myself. Thankfully that is over with for a while. Now that the nicer weather is here, I am ready for some sprucing up and spring cleaning. That not only includes my house, but my life too as well.

I am at a point in my life where I feel just about every area needs a major overhaul and quickly. I am my worst critic, my own worst enemy, and can be my best friend all wrapped into one. I can be my own patient and a therapist at the same time. I can be own coach and player at the same time. Well, you get the picture! When I want something done, I want it done now. If I get something in my head that I want done or improved, I can’t let it go until it is done or I at least started it. However, there are many projects around the house that I don’t care about. Just ask my husband and extended family! How about that wallpaper in our bedroom that I started to take down 2 years ago and it is still not done? I bet 90% of people in my life forgot about that! How about the basement my husband and I said we’d begin to finish? Well, we haven’t even started it! What about putting up pictures on the walls of our house that we moved into 2 and a half years ago? Well, we haven’t got to it! The older I get, the more I realize that is not really important. To some it is. To me, it is not. There are more important things in life than that.

Spiritually and religiously, my life needs an improvement. I have always been more of a spiritual person than a religious person. I will always be that way. However, even that area has slipped away from me. It is time for me to get back to basics. For me, going to church and reading the Bible is very peaceful. It makes me feel better and brings peace to my soul. So why don’t I make time for something that brings me peace? Why don’t I do this on a regular basis? This to me is more important than taking wallpaper down in my bedroom. Scheduling time for spiritual activities is something I want to start doing and need to start doing.

I am a fairly healthy person with a few minor issues. I go to the dentist and doctor on a regular basis and everything is always normal. I have no major issues. I make sure and do some form of exercise every day. I either do some housework, yard work, running, riding my bike, or walking every day unless something gets in the way. A vacation can mess up my exercise schedule. The holidays and being sick can as well. When this happens, it is very difficult for me to get back into exercise. I have to really push myself back into my routine. Same thing with healthy eating habits. I have fairly healthy eating habits, but a day or two a week I don’t do so well. Okay, some weeks it is more than that! Even though I am a fairly healthy person, I feel my health needs a little bit of an overhaul as well.

My career is another area I am struggling with. Currently, this is my biggest struggle. I used to live near Lake Michigan, which is two hours west of where I am now. I had a great part time job that I loved. I didn’t want to give it up when I moved. I was forced to move for my husband’s job. For a while I thought about keeping the job since it was pretty much on my own schedule, but I realized it just wouldn’t work. I had to give it up. Without going into a long story, I have been in and out of two jobs of where I live now. Things happen and my career life is the pits. This is the area where I feel I have a lot to offer, but I am currently in a hole the size of our planet and I can’t get myself out. This has brought the most pain and depression to my life. This area of my life needs a huge improvement.

Everyone has area’s of their life that they want improved. For me, it is just about every single area and I want it improved now! There are times I have patience and other times I do not. I want to wake up tomorrow with every area of my life fixed and improved. However, it doesn’t work that way. That brings me to spring cleaning my life. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. I sat my husband down and talked with him about what is going on with me. That was step number one. I checked out some books from the library on self improvement. That was step number two. I love books and could have my nose shoved in a book 24/7. I then sat myself down and started to think about what I want out of life. That was step number three. Keeping a journal, or in my case multiple journals for multiple area’s of my life, was step number four. I put all of that together and hopefully I can de-clutter my life. I want the cob webs out of my life and my feet back on the ground. In time, I will succeed.