The Years Are Slipping By

I see the hours go by faster and faster. The days and weeks fly by and there is nothing I can do about it. I turn the calendar months over so fast that it makes me wonder where the month has gone. Another year approaching the end. Didn’t I just buy a 2014 calendar? Didn’t I just celebrate the new year? Didn’t I just say 2014 is going to be the year? The year to do what? I don’t remember. Another year is almost gone and I don’t remember what I wanted to accomplish.

In a few months, I will be another year older. In a few years I will be 40. I see it up a head. It is there, waiting for me. I still feel like I am in my 20’s. I remember my hopes and wants when I was younger. What happened to them? Did I brush them aside? Did they disappear? Did I give up on them? I never truly knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise. Not in high school, not in college, and sadly, not now. I never was one of those lucky people who know right away what career path and life path to take.  In reality, how many of us do?

As another year goes by, calendar year and biological year, I see my motivation slipping by. I am slipping down a slippery slope that I can’t get myself out of. It is like drowning in quick sand, only mentally. I am being swept out to sea and not able to swim back. Some days I make a little progress towards shore, some days I tread water, and other days I am being swept back out to sea. I sometimes wish I could start over. Maybe go back to my niece or nephew’s age and start all over. Other times, I wonder what drugs I am on to be thinking that!

All in all, I am doing the best I can, at the moment, with the life I have been dealt. My son should be approaching 13 years old. I can’t even imagine a teenager in the house. My daughter would be approaching 11 years old. She’d be giving me the hard time I gave my parents. I can’t even imagine myself a parent to a 13 and 11 year old. Did my dreams die with them? They must have. That is where they went. They are gone. I see them out there in the distance, but they are unreachable. Maybe, just maybe, one year when I say, “This will be the year….”, it actually will be.

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Another Birthday, Another Year

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Another Birthday, Another Year

As kids, birthday’s are a source of entertainment. There is fun, cake, and gifts. They can’t wait for their special day to come along so they can play games, eat birthday cake, and open up their gifts. The next best thing to them is going to another kid’s party for fun, games, and sweets. They can’t wait to grow up. Kids would age a lot faster if it meant receiving gifts & eating sweets all the time. Thankfully, birthday’s have a different meaning as we age. The older we get, sweets & gifts mean less to us, or they should, while being with family & friends mean more.

I tend to analyze my life every year at this time. Self improvement, accomplishments and goals tend to be on my mind more so on my birthday than on any other time of the year. With another year behind me, I have been analyzing how far I have come, thinking about how my goals have changed, how to accomplish those goals, & how to improve my life.

As I age, my birthday seems to be more of a “self reflection” than a celebration. How much can a person do with a birthday in February living in Michigan anyway? I see the wind blowing and snow on the ground and that right there makes my birthday no big deal. As my father in law used to say on his birthday’s, “it’s just another day.” I used to say, “Howard, it’s your birthday! Celebrate!” Now here I am saying, “it’s just another day.”

I hope as people age, their birthday’s are a big deal. Don’t follow my lead, or my father in law’s lead and think it’s just another day. Celebrate another year of your life. No matter how old you are, there are people who do not live to be the age you are. See your family and friends and do something fun. Don’t spend all of your birthday analyzing your life. You never know when it’s your last birthday or your loved one’s last birthday, so spend it doing something fun!