The Years Are Slipping By

I see the hours go by faster and faster. The days and weeks fly by and there is nothing I can do about it. I turn the calendar months over so fast that it makes me wonder where the month has gone. Another year approaching the end. Didn’t I just buy a 2014 calendar? Didn’t I just celebrate the new year? Didn’t I just say 2014 is going to be the year? The year to do what? I don’t remember. Another year is almost gone and I don’t remember what I wanted to accomplish.

In a few months, I will be another year older. In a few years I will be 40. I see it up a head. It is there, waiting for me. I still feel like I am in my 20’s. I remember my hopes and wants when I was younger. What happened to them? Did I brush them aside? Did they disappear? Did I give up on them? I never truly knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise. Not in high school, not in college, and sadly, not now. I never was one of those lucky people who know right away what career path and life path to take.  In reality, how many of us do?

As another year goes by, calendar year and biological year, I see my motivation slipping by. I am slipping down a slippery slope that I can’t get myself out of. It is like drowning in quick sand, only mentally. I am being swept out to sea and not able to swim back. Some days I make a little progress towards shore, some days I tread water, and other days I am being swept back out to sea. I sometimes wish I could start over. Maybe go back to my niece or nephew’s age and start all over. Other times, I wonder what drugs I am on to be thinking that!

All in all, I am doing the best I can, at the moment, with the life I have been dealt. My son should be approaching 13 years old. I can’t even imagine a teenager in the house. My daughter would be approaching 11 years old. She’d be giving me the hard time I gave my parents. I can’t even imagine myself a parent to a 13 and 11 year old. Did my dreams die with them? They must have. That is where they went. They are gone. I see them out there in the distance, but they are unreachable. Maybe, just maybe, one year when I say, “This will be the year….”, it actually will be.

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Childhood Days

 

It’s 8am and I hear singing off in the distance. I just finished my shower and getting dressed and this faint singing is not coming from my house! I look outside to find my little neighbor girl on her swing set singing. She just finished the third grade and she is starting her summer break. How many almost fourth graders are outside playing and singing on their first days of summer break at 8am? This brought not only a smile to my face, but a thought into my head. How nice would it be to go back to those days? To go back to those care-free, no worry days and just be happy!

My first memories started forming in kindergarten. I can’t remember much before my first days of kindergarten. I remember my elementary school days being the happiest. My only responsibility was to get up, go to school, and come home to do any homework I had. Other than that, I was a kid with little responsibility and very little worries. All I had to do was be a kid!

Then junior high starts and this is where it all begins. Cliques start to form, peer pressure starts, and attitudes begin to take shape. The care-free life I once knew was gone and I was still only a kid. How fast those worry free days go. Those days slipped between my fingers and disappeared even before I knew they were there.

High school starts and ends. Before I know it, I’m off to college. It wasn’t until I was in college until I began to think back to my childhood days and miss them. Responsibilities grow and I am not a child anymore, but an adult. As much as I wanted to at times, it was difficult be in the childhood mindset as I grew older. Things change. We change. The world changes. My future begins to form and my life takes shape. With that comes duties, worries, and things to do. I start to wonder where my childhood went.

Fast forward life to many years down the road to this morning when I heard my little neighbor girl sing and play outside so early in the morning. It brings back good memories of my childhood, but also makes me wonder why I can’t have that back. I believe we all can take a lesson from a child and have our childhood back, if only for a little while. As adults, we need to let go from time time, stop taking life too seriously, have some fun and play more. Forget about responsibilities and worries. Learn to go back to those childhood days. Don’t let your children grow up too fast. My two nephews and one niece are growing like weeds and not only does that mean I am getting old, but their childhood days will be gone before they even know they had them!

It’s Not Too Late

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Credit goes to quotesinn.com

I am at a point in my life where I am closer to 40 years old than 30 years old. I know what most people are thinking; another blog post about someone feeling sorry for themselves about growing older. Nope, not going there, so give me a moment and keep reading. In fact, I would never want to be back in my teenage years or 20’s. Being a teenager and young adult is tough these days and I wouldn’t want to go back there.

I remember when I turned 30 and how hard of a time I had emotionally. I just couldn’t believe I was 30! Where does the time go? Now I am closer to 40 than 30. Six years later at the age of 36 and once again I am asking, “Where does the time go?” I am also a point in my life where I am asking, “What have I done with my life? What have I accomplished? What could I have done differently? Why didn’t I have the motivation, drive, or determination to accomplish more?” I do believe many people have times in their life where they ask these questions to themselves.

I am grateful I am asking myself these questions now when I am healthy and hopefully have many years ahead of me instead of the alternative. I can get that determination and motivation to do what I truly want to do. Instead of asking, “Why didn’t I do this?”, or “Why didn’t I try harder at this?”, I can ask ask myself, “What am I going to do now to go after what I want?”

I know I am not the only one asking myself these questions. We all do. Know matter how old we get, there is still time to accomplish what we want to do. There is still time to change our thinking. There is still time to help others. There is still time to live our life the way we want to. Whatever is holding us back, I encourage everyone to work through it, so we can have the life we dreamed of.

Another Birthday, Another Year

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Another Birthday, Another Year

As kids, birthday’s are a source of entertainment. There is fun, cake, and gifts. They can’t wait for their special day to come along so they can play games, eat birthday cake, and open up their gifts. The next best thing to them is going to another kid’s party for fun, games, and sweets. They can’t wait to grow up. Kids would age a lot faster if it meant receiving gifts & eating sweets all the time. Thankfully, birthday’s have a different meaning as we age. The older we get, sweets & gifts mean less to us, or they should, while being with family & friends mean more.

I tend to analyze my life every year at this time. Self improvement, accomplishments and goals tend to be on my mind more so on my birthday than on any other time of the year. With another year behind me, I have been analyzing how far I have come, thinking about how my goals have changed, how to accomplish those goals, & how to improve my life.

As I age, my birthday seems to be more of a “self reflection” than a celebration. How much can a person do with a birthday in February living in Michigan anyway? I see the wind blowing and snow on the ground and that right there makes my birthday no big deal. As my father in law used to say on his birthday’s, “it’s just another day.” I used to say, “Howard, it’s your birthday! Celebrate!” Now here I am saying, “it’s just another day.”

I hope as people age, their birthday’s are a big deal. Don’t follow my lead, or my father in law’s lead and think it’s just another day. Celebrate another year of your life. No matter how old you are, there are people who do not live to be the age you are. See your family and friends and do something fun. Don’t spend all of your birthday analyzing your life. You never know when it’s your last birthday or your loved one’s last birthday, so spend it doing something fun!

A New Year

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I say this every new year and I will say it again…where did the previous year go? Where did the last two years go? It seems like the older I get, time goes by faster. Is that a requirement as we age? Just like the older I get, the slower I drive, the bigger my purse gets, and I can no longer stay up late like I used to. Every year seems to go by faster and faster and every year I think of New Years resolutions. Most people don’t stick with them and give up shortly after making them, myself included. Once again, I have made New Year resolutions, but don’t really think of them as that. I think of them as “self improvements.”

For the last two years, I have been stuck in a rut so to speak. Some people are thinking, “really? Two years? And you haven’t done anything about it?” Well, like I previously said, time goes by fast. We fall into the same pattern every year and go about our daily life and don’t really think. We do the things that must be done and put up with the things that need to be changed or worked on.  Over the holiday break, it came to me that I don’t want to be 10 years older and still stuck in that rut. I feel like I have wasted the majority of the last two years of my life. I think back and haven’t really accomplished anything. My close friends and family may say differently. However, this is how I see not only the last 2 years of my life, but the majority of my whole life.

So after it finally hit me that I don’t want to feel this way 10 years from now, or even one year from now, I wrote down “self improvements” that I want to work on. They are in no particular order of importance. I just wrote down what I felt I wanted to change or work on regarding myself and my life.

1. Make my marriage stronger

2. Drink alcohol less

3. Eat healthier

4. Exercise more

5. Worry less

6. Find my career path (which I still believe is writing) and work towards it

7. Volunteer more

8. Not only write more, but also attend a writing group meeting

I don’t think of these as New Years resolutions, but things that I want to work on. If people think differently, in a more positive way, I believe we would accomplish more. I don’t want to go through the last half of my life, or how many years I have left on this Earth, and still feel the way I do. What I want is for 2014 to be better than 2012 & 2013 put together. I only know one way to do that and that is for me to make some changes and improvements. No one else can do that for me. My happiness is in my hands and my hands only. So those of you who are relying on other people for your own happiness and those of you who put up with the things that pull you down and depress you, there is no time like now to make a positive change. Make 2014 your year!

“Never give up …

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“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about”
– Edythe Kirchmaier

Who is Edythe Kirchmaier you ask? An inspiration that is who. She is a volunteer with Direct Relief. If you don’t know what Direct Relief is, check out their webpage at http://www.directrelief.org/. According to their about page they are a “non-profit organization that provides medical assistance to people around the world who have been affected by poverty, natural disaster, and civil unrest.” They bring so much good to much needed areas. So does Edythe Kirchmaier. She touches people’s heart’s wherever she goes. She has been on the Today Show, the Ellen DeGeneres Show, the Tonight Show, and Access Hollywood Live. She has a facebook page that I think everyone should look up and check out. Did I mention she is 105 years old? She gets up everyday and keeps on giving.

She inspires me to keep on going. When I have days where I don’t feel like getting out of bed, I think of her and get my butt out of bed! She is an encouragement to me. I have had this dream most of my life to be a writer and never acted on it until now. I want to be a freelance writer and just yesterday a great idea came to me for a professional blog. I won’t go into detail because this blog post is about Edythe Kirchmaier. My point is, there should be more  people out there like her. There should be more of us like her. We should be living like her and adopting her habits and view points. If we could just be a fraction of who she is, this world be a better place. Do something nice for someone today. Honor her by doing that. Don’t give up on your own dreams, your own hopes, and your own desires. Keep on going and keep on reaching for the stars!