Conquer Your Fears

You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.                             ~ Author Unknown

What are your dreams? Desires? Hopes? Wants? We all have them. How many of us do something about them? How many of us put ourselves out there and take a chance or a step forward toward those goals? I bet, not many. I sure don’t. It is safer that way. Sometimes doing nothing is comfortable and safe. It feels like slipping into a comfortable pair of sweat pants. Here, we are in our comfort zone. It is relaxing and there are no fears.

What would it feel like to jump out of your comfort zone? A little stressful maybe. Your heart would race. You might not know what to say, what to do, or even how to get started. All the fears and doubts you have would come to the surface. Those fears and doubts will try to hold you back and put you right back in your comfort zone. A person has to be stronger than their own comfort zone.

I can’t remember the last time I put myself out of my comfort zone. Well, I have very recently, but I am talking about before that! It is a concept many of us are not comfortable with. We are not doing ourselves a favor by sitting idle on our hands. We think we are, but we are not. I have two things that I want to do with my life before it is over. I have wanted it for some time, but being in my comfort zone is easier. I realized that not doing anything about it is not doing me any good.

One, I want to help the elderly and disabled by starting my own caregiver business. I have a huge need in me to help others. I think I can do a better job of it than if I work for another agency. I have done that and most agencies don’t know what they are doing.  It is a lot of work starting your own business. I do understand that. However, when I came across this idea, it felt like God was speaking to me personally. It felt like my calling. I sat on the idea for a while. Scared. Not really knowing what to do or how to get started. Leaving it alone was safer. Until now. I am taking the beginning steps of making this dream a reality.

Two, I want to have one piece of writing published before I die. It doesn’t matter if it is a small paragraph in Readers Digest, my Lions Club magazine, a short story, or a novel. It doesn’t matter if has a lot of publicity attached to it or not. It does not matter if I receive any kind of money in return for it or not. I just want something of mine published before I die. I have known this dream for a while and once again, it is safer to sit on the idea than to work towards it. I knew it was time to do something about it when I saw an add in my local newspaper about a writing class being offered. I actually was going to pass it up, but my husband encouraged me to sign up for it. Instead of the other way around, he is the one who actually gave me a talking to and told me to go for it!

So here I am, working towards the two things I want to accomplish before my time on this Earth is done. Instead of others passing me by on the way to their dreams, I am now walking right along with them. Conquer your fears. Take a chance. You never know what will happen if you don’t.

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

Each experience we go through changes us. Each situation, good & bad, shapes us. Little by little we learn something from life’s challenges. We don’t learn it all at once. It takes time. It can take months, years, or a lifetime. It takes many lessons through life to get to the point of patience, acceptance, tolerance, listening, and asking for help. We don’t even have to go through the experience ourselves; Just watching someone else go through it, we should recognize a light bulb go on in our minds. We should be able to learn from any situation whether we ourselves go through it or not. It really doesn’t have to be a hard lesson to learn; it can be minor. If we keep our eyes open, we will learn from any good or bad situation, or we will be presented with it again.

Acceptance is a big lesson for me personally. I will never be a millionaire, live in Hawaii, have a huge house, or that perfect job. I compare myself to my family, friends, and to people I have never met. It’s hard not to. I feel I should be at a certain point in my life, or have accomplished this and that, and I am not and I don’t. I could have worked harder. I could have pushed myself more. I could have accomplished more. I also know there are others out there wishing they were in my shoes.

With the help of God, family, and friends, we fight our own battles. We have our responsibilities, problems, accomplishments, and failures. We should not compare ourselves to others. We are all different. We all learn at our own pace. We go through different challenges and sometimes the same challenges, which affect us all differently. We are all built and made different from each other. Accept it. Tolerate it. Have patience. Don’t compare yourself to others. It will get you nowhere.

Thank You To My Followers!

I just wanted to give a great big shout out to my followers. I reached 100 followers today! Thank you so much. I amazes me that even a few people want to read what I write, let alone, 100….or half of those! I am trying my best to write something every week, but this week has been very busy for me and next week I have something going every single day so it may be tough to get a blog post out, but I will do my best. All of you are my inspiration. I like to read your blogs as well and I try to keep up with everyone. I enjoy your comments, so keep them coming!

If I Think I Can, I Can!

It has been a while since my last post. I have no great excuse. It is what it is and nothing more. I have had the want to write, but not the creativity. It has been hard to come up with ideas to write about, but I look around my life, this world, and even in the blog world and notice most people can find something to write about it. Anything can be a topic and turned into a great blog post. I need to try harder and push myself to do better. I love this quote I came across yesterday:

“Success is 90% psychology.” – Tony Robins

I have to keep reminding myself, if I think I can or can’t, I am right. Just like “we are what we eat”, I also believe, “we are what we think.” Every one of us have different beliefs, values, and mindsets. I believe most people are doing the best they can with what life throws at them.

I promise myself more than anyone else that I will do better with my blogging and writing.  It’s time to go back to brainstorming for idea’s and writing things down when they come to me.  I have skimmed many blogs today and loved every one of them. Other bloggers help me by providing inspiration and idea’s. There are many bloggers and writers out there that I hope to one day be like. I hope to one day have the talent that they do. If I think I can, I can!

When One Door Closes, Another Opens

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.  – Helen Keller

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. How many of us have said that to ourselves at some point in our lives? All of us, I assume. Growing up I had this vision of a perfect, happy, no problem life. Well, no major problems. I pictured myself doing well in school, doing well in college, getting a job I could be happy with, getting married & having it be easy, having kids, no major problems, the white picket fence outside the house, and of course owning a cat or two or as it turned out, three. How many of our visions actually turn out perfectly? How many of them turn out exactly liked we planned and hoped?

I have learned that I am not alone when it comes to visions and plans not working out. Life happens. Life intervenes. I did go to school and college and enjoyed it, but did not do well. I wasn’t the smart kid. I could have been if I applied myself. I have had jobs, but nothing I was extremely happy at. Does that job exist? Some say yes. I could have had that job if I applied myself. I did get married, but of course, it is not perfect. What marriage is? We tried to have kids, but going through loss after loss, we gave up. My point in all of this is, I had this perfect vision of my older life when I was younger and nothing has turned out the way I visioned it. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way, but it did.

I decided to stop searching for answers as to why things did not work out. I decided to simply live and let go. Life has this funny little way of actually turning out. When a problem arises, nine times out ten, it works itself out. Either the problem is fixed or I accept it for what it is and move on. It is true what the say; when one door closes, another one opens. Looking back on my life, I realize that has happened many times in my life. I just didn’t see it until now. I have been going through my life on a fast pace, worrying, and not paying attention to detail. It is amazing when you start to slow your life down, stop worrying so much, and pay attention to your life’s wants and needs, things do work themselves out. Instead of saying, “it wasn’t supposed to turn out this way,” accept it for what it is, learn from it, let it go, and move on. Everything happens for a reason. It was supposed to happen that way. We were supposed to go through that, learn from it, and continue on with our lives. When one door closes, another one opens.

Jump Out of Your Comfort Zone

A recent episode of the CBS TV show “Mike & Molly” made me think about getting out of my own comfort zone. The character Molly was trying to get her husband, Mike, out of his comfort zone. After having lunch out at their usual spot to celebrate her first published article, she did a number of things to get Mike out of his comfort zone. With being a police officer, Mike is set in his routine and has to be careful what he does. Molly does a good job of showing him some fun out on the town & she gets him to do some things he normally would never do. It was an enjoyable episode to watch and made me realize that I need to do the same thing.

Many of us are stuck in our routine and follow daily habits. Daily habits turn into weekly habits and before we know it, it has been years before we do something out of character. Depending on what it is, doing something out of character, can be healthy and fun. We tend to get bored with the same ole daily grind and even frustrated at times. We can become irritated with the people around us and our job. Yes, being in your comfort zone generally has little stress and little worry. Who wants the extra stress anyway? Jumping out of your comfort zone to do something you normally would not do would mean you might become nervous, have sweaty palms, your heart might race, and you might take on a little more stress. In the end, it would be good for you to jump out of your enclosed area to try something new. Do you tend to avoid social functions? Do you sit in the back row of church? Do you hold your tongue back when you shouldn’t say something? Okay, well, maybe on that one, it might be good to do just that! There are other things you can to do get yourself out of your comfort zone. You can do something once a week or do something daily for a week or however you want it, but thinking and doing a few things to get your heart racing and a little nervous is good for the body and soul.

Here are just a few ideas to do just that:

1. Do something different or out of character for you. Add some spice & fun to your life.

2. Recognize what makes you scared and change your thinking pattern on it.

3. Meet new people.

4. Whatever it is you keep putting off, do it and get it done.

5. Find a new hobby.

6. Change your daily routine.

7. Join a club or a committee.

8. Learn something new.

I believe doing some things that we don’t want to do or generally would not do, can help with personal growth and confidence within ourselves. Trying something to lift us out of our comfort zone could make us happier people. It could also make us become risk takers instead of watching the world go by. What are some things that make you uncomfortable? What are some things you fear, but always wanted to try? For me it is meeting new people. I tend to be a loner and I like that, I am okay with that, and that is me. When it comes to meeting new people, I don’t generally like to. I am happy with being in my house, working on my writing, and having a few close friends. What I need to work on this year is meeting new people, joining clubs, and networking more. This would get me out of my comfort zone. Whatever it is for you, change your thoughts on your fear, take a leap to get over your fear, and do whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable! You will be glad you did!

My Life’s Path

Yesterday I was sitting at my breakfast nook table looking out my window at the cold and snow. I was drinking a cup of hot, herbal tea and pondering my life. I have always been so concerned with not working in the traditional sense and bringing in an income. I feel I am not contributing to society. Regardless of the volunteer I work do with my local Humane Society and with my local Lions Club, I still feel it is not enough. I have many interests. However, not enough ambition. I want to contribute to society more and help more people. At the same time, I have no interest in working on another person’s time. I have this strong desire to work my own schedule. I will always be working for someone else. Working for someone else is not the issue. Whether my writing takes off or not, I will be working for someone else. As selfish as this sounds, I want to contribute to society more and help more people, but on my own time and my own work schedule.  I don’t care what everyone else does. I am concerned with me and my career life.

As I sat there looking out the window, a thought came to me that I am on the right path for my own life. I need to stop worrying about not working in the traditional sense, stop worrying what others think of me and go for what I want. I am on the right path for me. I am on the right path for my life. I believe all of my life experiences have shaped me to who I am today. They have shaped my interests and change my life course. In 35 years I have been through a lot. I have been through more than what most people think. I believe I am putting too much pressure on certain area’s of my life and not enough pressure on other parts. I am putting too much pressure on being someone I do not want to be and not enough pressure on being the person who I want to be. I need to let go of the stereotypes I put on myself and the stereotypes society puts on me. My life will work out if I I let certain things go and accept I am who I am.

I do not think I am alone when it comes to battling with what we want to do with our lives versus what society thinks we should do with our lives. I am here to tell you that we all need to let go of that. We need to go after what we want, not what society, our friends, family, or neighbors think we should be doing. I believe I am on the right path. I need to stop searching for my life’s purpose because I found it. I just need more ambition, more drive, and more confidence to go after it. What would this world be like if we all went after what we want instead of doing what society thinks we should be doing? Find your purpose. Find your ambition. What is that you want out of life? Stop worrying about all the “what if’s?” and let go of all that. It is time for not only me, but all of us to get out of our comfort zone and go after what we want!