Conquer Your Fears

You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.                             ~ Author Unknown

What are your dreams? Desires? Hopes? Wants? We all have them. How many of us do something about them? How many of us put ourselves out there and take a chance or a step forward toward those goals? I bet, not many. I sure don’t. It is safer that way. Sometimes doing nothing is comfortable and safe. It feels like slipping into a comfortable pair of sweat pants. Here, we are in our comfort zone. It is relaxing and there are no fears.

What would it feel like to jump out of your comfort zone? A little stressful maybe. Your heart would race. You might not know what to say, what to do, or even how to get started. All the fears and doubts you have would come to the surface. Those fears and doubts will try to hold you back and put you right back in your comfort zone. A person has to be stronger than their own comfort zone.

I can’t remember the last time I put myself out of my comfort zone. Well, I have very recently, but I am talking about before that! It is a concept many of us are not comfortable with. We are not doing ourselves a favor by sitting idle on our hands. We think we are, but we are not. I have two things that I want to do with my life before it is over. I have wanted it for some time, but being in my comfort zone is easier. I realized that not doing anything about it is not doing me any good.

One, I want to help the elderly and disabled by starting my own caregiver business. I have a huge need in me to help others. I think I can do a better job of it than if I work for another agency. I have done that and most agencies don’t know what they are doing.  It is a lot of work starting your own business. I do understand that. However, when I came across this idea, it felt like God was speaking to me personally. It felt like my calling. I sat on the idea for a while. Scared. Not really knowing what to do or how to get started. Leaving it alone was safer. Until now. I am taking the beginning steps of making this dream a reality.

Two, I want to have one piece of writing published before I die. It doesn’t matter if it is a small paragraph in Readers Digest, my Lions Club magazine, a short story, or a novel. It doesn’t matter if has a lot of publicity attached to it or not. It does not matter if I receive any kind of money in return for it or not. I just want something of mine published before I die. I have known this dream for a while and once again, it is safer to sit on the idea than to work towards it. I knew it was time to do something about it when I saw an add in my local newspaper about a writing class being offered. I actually was going to pass it up, but my husband encouraged me to sign up for it. Instead of the other way around, he is the one who actually gave me a talking to and told me to go for it!

So here I am, working towards the two things I want to accomplish before my time on this Earth is done. Instead of others passing me by on the way to their dreams, I am now walking right along with them. Conquer your fears. Take a chance. You never know what will happen if you don’t.

The Years Are Slipping By

I see the hours go by faster and faster. The days and weeks fly by and there is nothing I can do about it. I turn the calendar months over so fast that it makes me wonder where the month has gone. Another year approaching the end. Didn’t I just buy a 2014 calendar? Didn’t I just celebrate the new year? Didn’t I just say 2014 is going to be the year? The year to do what? I don’t remember. Another year is almost gone and I don’t remember what I wanted to accomplish.

In a few months, I will be another year older. In a few years I will be 40. I see it up a head. It is there, waiting for me. I still feel like I am in my 20’s. I remember my hopes and wants when I was younger. What happened to them? Did I brush them aside? Did they disappear? Did I give up on them? I never truly knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise. Not in high school, not in college, and sadly, not now. I never was one of those lucky people who know right away what career path and life path to take.  In reality, how many of us do?

As another year goes by, calendar year and biological year, I see my motivation slipping by. I am slipping down a slippery slope that I can’t get myself out of. It is like drowning in quick sand, only mentally. I am being swept out to sea and not able to swim back. Some days I make a little progress towards shore, some days I tread water, and other days I am being swept back out to sea. I sometimes wish I could start over. Maybe go back to my niece or nephew’s age and start all over. Other times, I wonder what drugs I am on to be thinking that!

All in all, I am doing the best I can, at the moment, with the life I have been dealt. My son should be approaching 13 years old. I can’t even imagine a teenager in the house. My daughter would be approaching 11 years old. She’d be giving me the hard time I gave my parents. I can’t even imagine myself a parent to a 13 and 11 year old. Did my dreams die with them? They must have. That is where they went. They are gone. I see them out there in the distance, but they are unreachable. Maybe, just maybe, one year when I say, “This will be the year….”, it actually will be.

Life & Death

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Life & Death

I have been through many loved ones passing away in my 35 years. I can’t really compare them all because each one rips my heart out. On one hand I am sad because they are gone. On the other hand, I am at peace because they are in Heaven. I have lost babies, pregnancies, 2 brothers, grandparents, in-laws, cousins, an uncle, an aunt, & high school classmates. I have been through the shock, the sadness, and the acceptance. So how come today feels a little different when I find out that my husband’s cousin passed away? It was a total shock. I didn’t think it was true and still don’t. We weren’t super close nor did we talk much. We were more “Facebook friends” than cousins through marriage. I saw him two to three times a year. So why I am I experiencing a heavy heart? Is it because he really was not that much older than my husband? Is it because he lived alone and died of a heart attack while at home? Is it because no one found him for a while? Is it because it happened around Thanksgiving time and we are just finding out? Is it because I know all too well that one day we are here and the next we are not? Or is it a combination of all of that? Whatever the reason, I am saddened by the news. He was the first one every year at Christmas time to send us a Christmas card. We’d always receive his Christmas card the first few days of December. I wondered a week ago why we didn’t receive his card. I thought it was strange that there was no Christmas card from him yet. I really don’t know why it takes so many deaths for me to realize that one day we are here and the next we are not. I don’t know why it takes so many deaths for me to realize that if I don’t go after my dreams today, I may not get the chance tomorrow. Let this be another lesson to me to enjoy the moment, go after my dreams, and tell loved ones that I love them.

“Never give up …

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“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about”
– Edythe Kirchmaier

Who is Edythe Kirchmaier you ask? An inspiration that is who. She is a volunteer with Direct Relief. If you don’t know what Direct Relief is, check out their webpage at http://www.directrelief.org/. According to their about page they are a “non-profit organization that provides medical assistance to people around the world who have been affected by poverty, natural disaster, and civil unrest.” They bring so much good to much needed areas. So does Edythe Kirchmaier. She touches people’s heart’s wherever she goes. She has been on the Today Show, the Ellen DeGeneres Show, the Tonight Show, and Access Hollywood Live. She has a facebook page that I think everyone should look up and check out. Did I mention she is 105 years old? She gets up everyday and keeps on giving.

She inspires me to keep on going. When I have days where I don’t feel like getting out of bed, I think of her and get my butt out of bed! She is an encouragement to me. I have had this dream most of my life to be a writer and never acted on it until now. I want to be a freelance writer and just yesterday a great idea came to me for a professional blog. I won’t go into detail because this blog post is about Edythe Kirchmaier. My point is, there should be more  people out there like her. There should be more of us like her. We should be living like her and adopting her habits and view points. If we could just be a fraction of who she is, this world be a better place. Do something nice for someone today. Honor her by doing that. Don’t give up on your own dreams, your own hopes, and your own desires. Keep on going and keep on reaching for the stars!