Shifting Our Focus

“Life seems sometimes like nothing more than a series of losses, from beginning to end. That’s the given. How you respond to those losses, what you make of what’s left, that’s the part you have to make up as you go.”

– Katherine Weber

I came across this quote today and it hit me like a slap in the face. I wasn’t searching for quotes; it was just there like it was meant for me to read. I really started to think about my life, my thoughts, and my attitude towards certain things. For the last number of years (too many years to put an exact number on), I have said to myself, “my life is a series of losses.” It is all I have been focusing on. My losses. My life has been one loss after another. Whether it is a loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of money, or a number of other things; my life is a series of losses. However, I am not the only one who is alive on this planet. So many others feel the same way as I do. So many others have it worse off than I do. Our eyes are sometimes open only to our pain and closed to the pain other people go through. We get lost in our own pain all too often. We forget what matters. We give up. Once we start shifting our focus to others and helping others, our own lives improve as well. Not only do we make someone else feel better, but we feel better for helping someone else. I will slip and lose my focus from time to time, but before my life ends, I am hoping to help other people see things in a more positive light. After all, isn’t that what we were put on this planet for?

Advertisements

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

Each experience we go through changes us. Each situation, good & bad, shapes us. Little by little we learn something from life’s challenges. We don’t learn it all at once. It takes time. It can take months, years, or a lifetime. It takes many lessons through life to get to the point of patience, acceptance, tolerance, listening, and asking for help. We don’t even have to go through the experience ourselves; Just watching someone else go through it, we should recognize a light bulb go on in our minds. We should be able to learn from any situation whether we ourselves go through it or not. It really doesn’t have to be a hard lesson to learn; it can be minor. If we keep our eyes open, we will learn from any good or bad situation, or we will be presented with it again.

Acceptance is a big lesson for me personally. I will never be a millionaire, live in Hawaii, have a huge house, or that perfect job. I compare myself to my family, friends, and to people I have never met. It’s hard not to. I feel I should be at a certain point in my life, or have accomplished this and that, and I am not and I don’t. I could have worked harder. I could have pushed myself more. I could have accomplished more. I also know there are others out there wishing they were in my shoes.

With the help of God, family, and friends, we fight our own battles. We have our responsibilities, problems, accomplishments, and failures. We should not compare ourselves to others. We are all different. We all learn at our own pace. We go through different challenges and sometimes the same challenges, which affect us all differently. We are all built and made different from each other. Accept it. Tolerate it. Have patience. Don’t compare yourself to others. It will get you nowhere.

Does It Really Matter?

Life. There is so much to do and so much to say. So much to concentrate on and so much to forget. Some things to worry about and most things to let go.  Certain things to accomplish and some to throw out the window.

Does it really matter if we drive 85mph in a 70mph zone just to get somewhere two minutes faster? Does it really matter if I write this blog all in first person or part in first person, second person, and third person? Does it really matter if I follow a diet so to speak or eat and drink what I want in moderation? Does it really matter if I am 110 pounds or 160 pounds? Does it really matter what others think or what I think? Does it really matter if I stay up till 10pm or 2am? Does it really matter if I am not working, working part time or working full time? Does it really matter that I have two college degree’s and not using either of them? Am I doing what I love? Am I doing what I want to do? Am I doing what makes me happy? Well, there you go!

Figure out what is important to you, follow it, and do it.  Something I have learned over and over again is we are here one day and gone the next. It first started with my son being in my belly one day & gone seconds later. Then my oldest brother was here one day & gone minutes later. My daughter was here one day and gone hours later. My second oldest brother was here one day and gone the next. So on and so on and so on……

The older I get, the less I worry. The older I get, the more I realize what is important and what is not important. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, the older I get, the more I do what makes me happy.

Don’t let life get in the way of what you want to do.

 

 

 

Life Is About Balance

 

When one walks on a tight rope, balance is the key. When someone stands on one foot, balance is the key. Life is all about balance. Too much of anything is not good for you. Too much of anything will over whelm a person. Too many sweets gets a person sick. Too much work makes a person dull and stressed. Too much play can have a negative effect on a person. Even too much water is not good for you! Your life and even your day is about balance.

Creating balance in one’s life can be difficult. It’s easy to get wrapped up in life and forget why we are all here in the first place. It’s easy to get so down on life where all you think about is yourself. It’s also easy to be so high on life where all you think about is yourself. It all comes down to balance.

Think of the man or woman who works 60 plus hours a week. They may or may not enjoy the work, but either way it’s stressful. There is no balance.

What about the man or woman who stays home with the kids. There is no break. It’s all about the kids, tending to their needs, driving them here and there. Yes the parent loves their kids and wouldn’t trade it for anything, but where is the balance? How do they relax? It’s all about balance.

Think of the anorexic who does not eat, but exercises too much. Or the opposite habits in some people. There is no balance to this kind of life either.

Think of the depressed person who can’t leave the house on some days or get anything done on some days. There is a soul in that person waiting to be set free and soar. Too much depression in one’s life, and quite frankly, the opposite of that, is not good. It all comes down to balance.

There is time to hold on and a time to let go. There is a time for work and a time for play. There is a time for family & friends and a time for yourself. There is a time to splurge and a time to hold back. There will be down times in a person’s life and high moments in a person’s life. It is so simply really, but difficult at the same time to keep balance in one’s life. The key to life, if you can find it, is balance.

Everything Changes

798035ad13008760ed5000efc202fcfe

Found on sayingimages.com

 

The sun rises. The sun sets. We get up. We go to sleep. Day in and day out we do what we need to do. We tend to our jobs, raise our children, go to school, and help out in the community. Seems pretty routine. Our days sometimes blend into others and it feels like we are doing the same thing over and over. We get bored. We need a change; something different. What many of us don’t realize is this is a gift. Routine can be a gift at times. We need to cherish these days. We need to hold onto these days because eventually, everything changes.

There will be a day when something or everything changes. A loved one will pass away, a child off to college, a child getting married, a move to a different city, a different job, the loss of a pet, a divorce, a new love, etc… There will be a day when then “day in, day out” routine will be something that is wished back. Cherish each new day whether it is a “routine” day or not. Each day is a gift for all of us. Make the most of it!

My Own Little World

 

There is a place, a couple places actually, where I go to forget about all of my worries and all of the world’s troubles. As soon as I am there, my troubles melt away. I don’t think about what worries my mind nor do I think about what is going on in the news. For a short time, the outside world no longer matters. It’s almost like I am in my own little world with the doors shut to the outside. Nothing else can make it’s way inside and until I open those doors to leave, nothing can make it’s way outside. While I am there, I am in a state of bliss, happiness, and peace. There are unseen, loving arms around this place letting me know everything will be okay.

Being the type of person that worries all the time and contemplates every possible outcome, a place or two like this, is what I need. It releases the tension inside me. For a while, I am able to let go of all the stress on my shoulders or all the stress that I think is on my shoulders! I would describe these places like being in Heaven, but since I have not been to Heaven, yet, I will say it is like being on vacation. There are no worries, troubles, or stress. Only happiness, peace, love, and a state of relaxation exists. When I leave this place, there is a longing to go back. It is almost like a piece of my life is missing until I return. Once back at this place, life makes sense again. I feel like I have all the answers and nothing can pull me down.

Everyone needs a place or two like this. When the outside world consumes us, we all need a place to kick our feet up and let go. If I am not able to physically be at these places, I go there in my mind, if only for a little while. I urge us all to find a place or two that makes us feel that nothing else matters. It could be when you are with your loved one(s) you feel this way, at a beautiful park, looking at a sunrise or sunset, a place you volunteer at, or maybe it is going for a walk or a drive. Whatever & wherever it is, go there often. If you don’t have a place like this, I urge you to find one. Doing so will only help you, not hurt you.

 

 

It’s Not Too Late

quote-go-after-your-dream-no-matter-how-unattainable-others-think-it-is

Credit goes to quotesinn.com

I am at a point in my life where I am closer to 40 years old than 30 years old. I know what most people are thinking; another blog post about someone feeling sorry for themselves about growing older. Nope, not going there, so give me a moment and keep reading. In fact, I would never want to be back in my teenage years or 20’s. Being a teenager and young adult is tough these days and I wouldn’t want to go back there.

I remember when I turned 30 and how hard of a time I had emotionally. I just couldn’t believe I was 30! Where does the time go? Now I am closer to 40 than 30. Six years later at the age of 36 and once again I am asking, “Where does the time go?” I am also a point in my life where I am asking, “What have I done with my life? What have I accomplished? What could I have done differently? Why didn’t I have the motivation, drive, or determination to accomplish more?” I do believe many people have times in their life where they ask these questions to themselves.

I am grateful I am asking myself these questions now when I am healthy and hopefully have many years ahead of me instead of the alternative. I can get that determination and motivation to do what I truly want to do. Instead of asking, “Why didn’t I do this?”, or “Why didn’t I try harder at this?”, I can ask ask myself, “What am I going to do now to go after what I want?”

I know I am not the only one asking myself these questions. We all do. Know matter how old we get, there is still time to accomplish what we want to do. There is still time to change our thinking. There is still time to help others. There is still time to live our life the way we want to. Whatever is holding us back, I encourage everyone to work through it, so we can have the life we dreamed of.