The Years Are Slipping By

I see the hours go by faster and faster. The days and weeks fly by and there is nothing I can do about it. I turn the calendar months over so fast that it makes me wonder where the month has gone. Another year approaching the end. Didn’t I just buy a 2014 calendar? Didn’t I just celebrate the new year? Didn’t I just say 2014 is going to be the year? The year to do what? I don’t remember. Another year is almost gone and I don’t remember what I wanted to accomplish.

In a few months, I will be another year older. In a few years I will be 40. I see it up a head. It is there, waiting for me. I still feel like I am in my 20’s. I remember my hopes and wants when I was younger. What happened to them? Did I brush them aside? Did they disappear? Did I give up on them? I never truly knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise. Not in high school, not in college, and sadly, not now. I never was one of those lucky people who know right away what career path and life path to take.  In reality, how many of us do?

As another year goes by, calendar year and biological year, I see my motivation slipping by. I am slipping down a slippery slope that I can’t get myself out of. It is like drowning in quick sand, only mentally. I am being swept out to sea and not able to swim back. Some days I make a little progress towards shore, some days I tread water, and other days I am being swept back out to sea. I sometimes wish I could start over. Maybe go back to my niece or nephew’s age and start all over. Other times, I wonder what drugs I am on to be thinking that!

All in all, I am doing the best I can, at the moment, with the life I have been dealt. My son should be approaching 13 years old. I can’t even imagine a teenager in the house. My daughter would be approaching 11 years old. She’d be giving me the hard time I gave my parents. I can’t even imagine myself a parent to a 13 and 11 year old. Did my dreams die with them? They must have. That is where they went. They are gone. I see them out there in the distance, but they are unreachable. Maybe, just maybe, one year when I say, “This will be the year….”, it actually will be.


Lesson’s Learned, Part One

So many of us go through life, or part of our lives, not paying attention. Sometimes, myself included. We are in such a hurry to go about our day and finish our day just to get up and do it all over again. We drive too fast, we hurry conversations, we hurry in and out of the stores, we rush our errands, and we wish the work day or school day away. Why? What is the point? When we hurry we are more likely to be involved in an accident, to miss a key point in a conversation, miss someone’s call for help, forget about something or someone, and miss the important things in life. Slow down, pay attention to the road, and enjoy the scenery while driving.  Enjoy your time with family & friends and don’t rush your time with them. When you are rushing your errands remember the home-bound people who can not get out of the house. This brings me to a lesson learned: slow down your life! You or your loved one’s life will be gone before you know it.

We live in a world of want this and want that. It is always a want before a need. I am guilty of this most of the time. However, I am changing my thinking and habits on this. We keep up with the latest technology, we want the newest vehicles, kids want the latest toys, book lovers want that new book as soon as it comes out, movie lovers must see that movie as soon as it is released, and the same with music. Up until recently I always thought I needed my wants in order to be happy and live life to the fullest. I forgot about my needs. What are your most important needs? Mine? To feel loved, to spend time with family & friends, to have a roof over my head, to have enough money to buy groceries and pay bills. Notice I did not say my most important need is the latest laptop, tablet, cell phone, book, or DVD. Not too long ago I would become jealous of anyone with the latest technology, with a bigger house, with a newer car, or with a better job. Another lesson learned: Enjoy what you have because most people don’t have what you have. If other people have what you want, be happy for them because more than likely they worked for it and earned it. If your needs are met and you have a want in mind, well then, work for it. Don’t expect it to be handed to you.

Every time I turn the news on I hear of shootings, people being killed, and the talk of war. I also hear about too many friends fighting, too many families in conflict with each other, and people talking about other people behind their back. Everyone knows of a friend or family member who is not getting along with someone. In fact, many of those situations have been going on for so long that they either forgot why they are fighting or they don’t care anymore about what caused it. People, please let it go! Life is so short. Don’t engage in gossip. You have no idea what it is like to be in another person’s shoes. Even if you think you do or you have been involved in a similar situation, everyone handles things differently. Lesson learned: Don’t judge other people. Try helping them instead!

Over the years my eyes have been opened to more important things in life. I am learning to let the past go. I am learning to not care what other people think of me. I am learning to let life play out. I understand if I really want something bad enough, I need to work for it. I am putting my time and effort into more important things such as spending more time with family & friends, volunteering, spoiling my niece & nephew’s, spoiling my cats, and yes, even putting myself first before anything else! It may be time to rethink you life and the way you live it. Don’t let it be too late before your eyes are opened to the more important things in life.