Does It Really Matter?

Life. There is so much to do and so much to say. So much to concentrate on and so much to forget. Some things to worry about and most things to let go.  Certain things to accomplish and some to throw out the window.

Does it really matter if we drive 85mph in a 70mph zone just to get somewhere two minutes faster? Does it really matter if I write this blog all in first person or part in first person, second person, and third person? Does it really matter if I follow a diet so to speak or eat and drink what I want in moderation? Does it really matter if I am 110 pounds or 160 pounds? Does it really matter what others think or what I think? Does it really matter if I stay up till 10pm or 2am? Does it really matter if I am not working, working part time or working full time? Does it really matter that I have two college degree’s and not using either of them? Am I doing what I love? Am I doing what I want to do? Am I doing what makes me happy? Well, there you go!

Figure out what is important to you, follow it, and do it.  Something I have learned over and over again is we are here one day and gone the next. It first started with my son being in my belly one day & gone seconds later. Then my oldest brother was here one day & gone minutes later. My daughter was here one day and gone hours later. My second oldest brother was here one day and gone the next. So on and so on and so on……

The older I get, the less I worry. The older I get, the more I realize what is important and what is not important. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, the older I get, the more I do what makes me happy.

Don’t let life get in the way of what you want to do.

 

 

 

Childhood Days

 

It’s 8am and I hear singing off in the distance. I just finished my shower and getting dressed and this faint singing is not coming from my house! I look outside to find my little neighbor girl on her swing set singing. She just finished the third grade and she is starting her summer break. How many almost fourth graders are outside playing and singing on their first days of summer break at 8am? This brought not only a smile to my face, but a thought into my head. How nice would it be to go back to those days? To go back to those care-free, no worry days and just be happy!

My first memories started forming in kindergarten. I can’t remember much before my first days of kindergarten. I remember my elementary school days being the happiest. My only responsibility was to get up, go to school, and come home to do any homework I had. Other than that, I was a kid with little responsibility and very little worries. All I had to do was be a kid!

Then junior high starts and this is where it all begins. Cliques start to form, peer pressure starts, and attitudes begin to take shape. The care-free life I once knew was gone and I was still only a kid. How fast those worry free days go. Those days slipped between my fingers and disappeared even before I knew they were there.

High school starts and ends. Before I know it, I’m off to college. It wasn’t until I was in college until I began to think back to my childhood days and miss them. Responsibilities grow and I am not a child anymore, but an adult. As much as I wanted to at times, it was difficult be in the childhood mindset as I grew older. Things change. We change. The world changes. My future begins to form and my life takes shape. With that comes duties, worries, and things to do. I start to wonder where my childhood went.

Fast forward life to many years down the road to this morning when I heard my little neighbor girl sing and play outside so early in the morning. It brings back good memories of my childhood, but also makes me wonder why I can’t have that back. I believe we all can take a lesson from a child and have our childhood back, if only for a little while. As adults, we need to let go from time time, stop taking life too seriously, have some fun and play more. Forget about responsibilities and worries. Learn to go back to those childhood days. Don’t let your children grow up too fast. My two nephews and one niece are growing like weeds and not only does that mean I am getting old, but their childhood days will be gone before they even know they had them!

My Own Little World

 

There is a place, a couple places actually, where I go to forget about all of my worries and all of the world’s troubles. As soon as I am there, my troubles melt away. I don’t think about what worries my mind nor do I think about what is going on in the news. For a short time, the outside world no longer matters. It’s almost like I am in my own little world with the doors shut to the outside. Nothing else can make it’s way inside and until I open those doors to leave, nothing can make it’s way outside. While I am there, I am in a state of bliss, happiness, and peace. There are unseen, loving arms around this place letting me know everything will be okay.

Being the type of person that worries all the time and contemplates every possible outcome, a place or two like this, is what I need. It releases the tension inside me. For a while, I am able to let go of all the stress on my shoulders or all the stress that I think is on my shoulders! I would describe these places like being in Heaven, but since I have not been to Heaven, yet, I will say it is like being on vacation. There are no worries, troubles, or stress. Only happiness, peace, love, and a state of relaxation exists. When I leave this place, there is a longing to go back. It is almost like a piece of my life is missing until I return. Once back at this place, life makes sense again. I feel like I have all the answers and nothing can pull me down.

Everyone needs a place or two like this. When the outside world consumes us, we all need a place to kick our feet up and let go. If I am not able to physically be at these places, I go there in my mind, if only for a little while. I urge us all to find a place or two that makes us feel that nothing else matters. It could be when you are with your loved one(s) you feel this way, at a beautiful park, looking at a sunrise or sunset, a place you volunteer at, or maybe it is going for a walk or a drive. Whatever & wherever it is, go there often. If you don’t have a place like this, I urge you to find one. Doing so will only help you, not hurt you.

 

 

When One Door Closes, Another Opens

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.  – Helen Keller

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. How many of us have said that to ourselves at some point in our lives? All of us, I assume. Growing up I had this vision of a perfect, happy, no problem life. Well, no major problems. I pictured myself doing well in school, doing well in college, getting a job I could be happy with, getting married & having it be easy, having kids, no major problems, the white picket fence outside the house, and of course owning a cat or two or as it turned out, three. How many of our visions actually turn out perfectly? How many of them turn out exactly liked we planned and hoped?

I have learned that I am not alone when it comes to visions and plans not working out. Life happens. Life intervenes. I did go to school and college and enjoyed it, but did not do well. I wasn’t the smart kid. I could have been if I applied myself. I have had jobs, but nothing I was extremely happy at. Does that job exist? Some say yes. I could have had that job if I applied myself. I did get married, but of course, it is not perfect. What marriage is? We tried to have kids, but going through loss after loss, we gave up. My point in all of this is, I had this perfect vision of my older life when I was younger and nothing has turned out the way I visioned it. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way, but it did.

I decided to stop searching for answers as to why things did not work out. I decided to simply live and let go. Life has this funny little way of actually turning out. When a problem arises, nine times out ten, it works itself out. Either the problem is fixed or I accept it for what it is and move on. It is true what the say; when one door closes, another one opens. Looking back on my life, I realize that has happened many times in my life. I just didn’t see it until now. I have been going through my life on a fast pace, worrying, and not paying attention to detail. It is amazing when you start to slow your life down, stop worrying so much, and pay attention to your life’s wants and needs, things do work themselves out. Instead of saying, “it wasn’t supposed to turn out this way,” accept it for what it is, learn from it, let it go, and move on. Everything happens for a reason. It was supposed to happen that way. We were supposed to go through that, learn from it, and continue on with our lives. When one door closes, another one opens.

Jump Out of Your Comfort Zone

A recent episode of the CBS TV show “Mike & Molly” made me think about getting out of my own comfort zone. The character Molly was trying to get her husband, Mike, out of his comfort zone. After having lunch out at their usual spot to celebrate her first published article, she did a number of things to get Mike out of his comfort zone. With being a police officer, Mike is set in his routine and has to be careful what he does. Molly does a good job of showing him some fun out on the town & she gets him to do some things he normally would never do. It was an enjoyable episode to watch and made me realize that I need to do the same thing.

Many of us are stuck in our routine and follow daily habits. Daily habits turn into weekly habits and before we know it, it has been years before we do something out of character. Depending on what it is, doing something out of character, can be healthy and fun. We tend to get bored with the same ole daily grind and even frustrated at times. We can become irritated with the people around us and our job. Yes, being in your comfort zone generally has little stress and little worry. Who wants the extra stress anyway? Jumping out of your comfort zone to do something you normally would not do would mean you might become nervous, have sweaty palms, your heart might race, and you might take on a little more stress. In the end, it would be good for you to jump out of your enclosed area to try something new. Do you tend to avoid social functions? Do you sit in the back row of church? Do you hold your tongue back when you shouldn’t say something? Okay, well, maybe on that one, it might be good to do just that! There are other things you can to do get yourself out of your comfort zone. You can do something once a week or do something daily for a week or however you want it, but thinking and doing a few things to get your heart racing and a little nervous is good for the body and soul.

Here are just a few ideas to do just that:

1. Do something different or out of character for you. Add some spice & fun to your life.

2. Recognize what makes you scared and change your thinking pattern on it.

3. Meet new people.

4. Whatever it is you keep putting off, do it and get it done.

5. Find a new hobby.

6. Change your daily routine.

7. Join a club or a committee.

8. Learn something new.

I believe doing some things that we don’t want to do or generally would not do, can help with personal growth and confidence within ourselves. Trying something to lift us out of our comfort zone could make us happier people. It could also make us become risk takers instead of watching the world go by. What are some things that make you uncomfortable? What are some things you fear, but always wanted to try? For me it is meeting new people. I tend to be a loner and I like that, I am okay with that, and that is me. When it comes to meeting new people, I don’t generally like to. I am happy with being in my house, working on my writing, and having a few close friends. What I need to work on this year is meeting new people, joining clubs, and networking more. This would get me out of my comfort zone. Whatever it is for you, change your thoughts on your fear, take a leap to get over your fear, and do whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable! You will be glad you did!

My Life’s Path

Yesterday I was sitting at my breakfast nook table looking out my window at the cold and snow. I was drinking a cup of hot, herbal tea and pondering my life. I have always been so concerned with not working in the traditional sense and bringing in an income. I feel I am not contributing to society. Regardless of the volunteer I work do with my local Humane Society and with my local Lions Club, I still feel it is not enough. I have many interests. However, not enough ambition. I want to contribute to society more and help more people. At the same time, I have no interest in working on another person’s time. I have this strong desire to work my own schedule. I will always be working for someone else. Working for someone else is not the issue. Whether my writing takes off or not, I will be working for someone else. As selfish as this sounds, I want to contribute to society more and help more people, but on my own time and my own work schedule.  I don’t care what everyone else does. I am concerned with me and my career life.

As I sat there looking out the window, a thought came to me that I am on the right path for my own life. I need to stop worrying about not working in the traditional sense, stop worrying what others think of me and go for what I want. I am on the right path for me. I am on the right path for my life. I believe all of my life experiences have shaped me to who I am today. They have shaped my interests and change my life course. In 35 years I have been through a lot. I have been through more than what most people think. I believe I am putting too much pressure on certain area’s of my life and not enough pressure on other parts. I am putting too much pressure on being someone I do not want to be and not enough pressure on being the person who I want to be. I need to let go of the stereotypes I put on myself and the stereotypes society puts on me. My life will work out if I I let certain things go and accept I am who I am.

I do not think I am alone when it comes to battling with what we want to do with our lives versus what society thinks we should do with our lives. I am here to tell you that we all need to let go of that. We need to go after what we want, not what society, our friends, family, or neighbors think we should be doing. I believe I am on the right path. I need to stop searching for my life’s purpose because I found it. I just need more ambition, more drive, and more confidence to go after it. What would this world be like if we all went after what we want instead of doing what society thinks we should be doing? Find your purpose. Find your ambition. What is that you want out of life? Stop worrying about all the “what if’s?” and let go of all that. It is time for not only me, but all of us to get out of our comfort zone and go after what we want!

Insomnia Jeopardy

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Insomnia Jeopardy

I am currently going through a period in my life where I have sleepless nights. For one reason or another, I am not sleeping well. I am tired at night, go to bed, and then I begin to toss and turn for hours. I either get up to write or stay in bed where I eventually fall asleep. I found this image online and had to laugh because the categories across the top are pretty much what is on my mind at night. I have gone through insomnia before and thought I had the issue dealt with, but now it seems to have found its way back to me.

There are so many people that deal with sleepless nights. For me it is because I have a wandering mind. I am not able to settle my mind down at night. So many thoughts and too many things I worry about. Not only have I started to take my own advice about what I write in my own blog posts, but I have also started a journal to record my thoughts. I was one of those girls who kept a journal when I was younger and even had a journal through high school, but eventually I stopped and got rid of them all so no one could ever read them. I figured if it is going to help me sleep at night, settle my mind down, and it might even inspire some story and blog ideas, starting a journal once again is worth a shot. Last night I even started to embrace my sleepless night. The house is quiet and lights are low. It is actually kind of peaceful. I was able to write for an hour and 45 minutes last night before my eyes started to tell me to go to bed.

Worries are not the only thing that is on my mind at night. Blog post ideas come to my mind at night. Story ideas come to my mind at night. My mind is most active at night. That is not always a bad thing as many idea’s seem to find me at night. If you are one that has never been bothered with sleepless nights on an ongoing basis, be thankful. Everyone has experienced a sleepless night or two here and there, but if you don’t have to deal with it a whole lot, you are one of the lucky ones. If you do, maybe start to embrace it like I have. Find something good about it. Something positive always comes out of every situation even if we personally do not know or find out about it. Once you start to embrace a situation and deal with it, you start to accept it and find ways to improve it and move on with your life. Find the good in all situations and your life will be better.